Sunday, April 22, 2007

HANDLING LDR

I feel it necessary to share with you guys, my personal experience about handling a relationship. Here are some helpful tips about handling a relationship, particularly Long distance relationship which is the toughest one to handle.
Let me start it with the quote:
"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - Khalil Gibran -
Long distance relationships require a special willingness and understanding that can test love like no other type of relationship can. It requires constant communication and a desire to continually create your relationship, using the only real tool you have..WORDS and TRUST...
One of the most difficult parts of a long distance relationship is handling the fact that you are not physically there with your partner. This lack of physical presence can make the whole relationship seem like an illusion. Sometimes, almost every person in a long distance relationship has wondered at some point about whether the relationship was actually real or just wishful thinking. With this in mind, it is very important to create a presence of yourself in your partner's life to provide a stable reality that you are a couple and that you are a part of one another. Listed below are some ideas and resources to help you achieve this.
Communication
- Don't fall out of touch, even for a short time - Return all e-mails at the earliest opportunity If you are going out of town or are otherwise going to be unable to respond, let your partner know as soon as possible so they don't think something is wrong or start to have doubts.
- Keep an online dates. Talk regularly through voice chat or via the telephone Your voice adds that touch of reality to the relationship and makes you more than just text on a screen
- Video Chat if possible or at least send pictures regularly Can you imagine how differently you would feel if you could actually see your partner when you talk to them? You can bet that they would feel the same. Rather than having to imagine how you looked when you laughed or smiled, they could actually see it. It nullify's any of those doubts you have about whether they will like the way you look.
- Get to know as much as you can about each other Tell your partner about your day to day life, your friends, your relatives, your job etc. Make them feel like they are an integral part of your life. At the same time, find out as much as you can about them too
- Be there when needed One of the worst mistakes you can make in any relationship is to not be there for your partner when they need you. This is especially true of a long distance relationship as there are already inherent doubts and this will just reinforce those doubts. Seek your partner's advice, listen to what they say and make them feel special and important to you.
Love Love is the backbone of any relationship. As long as the other partner feels that you completely and unconditionally love them, those doubts will not have a chance to creep in. It is up to you to make sure they know exactly how you feel about them. Some ideas include:
Reinforce your affection with poems, stories and love letters Send them care packages, postcards and gifts Create a personalized love craft and send it to them
Presence Make sure you have a presence in your partner's life. Continually reinforce the fact that you are there, that this relationship is real and there is no way that you are going to let a little thing like distance get in your way.
(ronald rafer - asmsi.org.ph)

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