Feeling so down right now:( I don't know...suddenly i got this feeling of missing home badly especially my nephews, my mom and my brod's. If there were reasons why i stayed for so long now abroad....that would be my family, well i guess most of the Filipino's got the same reason too.
Forget all the difficulties you encounter in the foreign land for as long as you can provide a bit better life to your families...forget all the needs you too have for as long as they get what you want them in their lives....even if sometimes you tend to be disappointed or frustrated with some of the negatives results from what you expected them to be.
Right at this moment...i feel so so down:( Here comes again...fear:( Fear of losing the direction that i have started for them. I've been sick lately...not lately...i guess for the last two years that had past. I know something is really bad inside....my stomach...my internal lowers organs but i'm afraid to know what. Well, i can afford to go to a Doctor for a check up...i've done it many times when we were trying to know the reason why i don't get pregnant...i've done it alone infact...but now it's a different story....I'm afraid the Doctor might say i got this...and that...:( that i may live only for few months or year... NO i can't take it...not for now that i have just started my dreams to my family...
I hope i'm just being so nega about what i'm feeling...i hope nothing is really serious. Please Lord not now please.....:(